I lost my virginity to a man with a huge penis. Watching porn made me uncomfortable so I always just read erotica. I could barely open my jaw far enough to the get the thing in my mouth. We could only have sex in missionary position because everything else hurt so badly. I was not particularly impressed with intercourse or giving oral, for that matter. The rest of my relationships have been with men with normal size penises. I found out, holy shit, having sex with them is fucking easy. Give me a normal dick any day.
Blow jobs are absolute nightmares
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All rights reserved. Bigger is better—at least when it comes to a woman's penis preferences, a new study says. The findings suggest that female choice may have driven the evolution of larger penises in humans. Past psychology studies that have asked women about their preferences for penis size have produced mixed opinions, with some saying they don't care about the size, while others say they prefer larger penises. But those women may have felt pressured to say the politically correct thing: That size doesn't matter, said study leader Brian Mautz , a biologist at the University of Ottawa, Canada. So his team set up an experiment in which Australian women—averaging 26 years old—each looked at 53 life-size images of various computer-generated male silhouettes projected onto a screen. The gray, homogenous-looking men had different heights, shoulder-to-hip ratios or body shapes , and flaccid-penis lengths. In past studies, women have generally perceived tall men with greater shoulder-to-hip ratios as more alluring, making these factors important in how a woman judges attractiveness. The women in the current study were then asked to rate the men on an attractiveness scale of , with 1 being least attractive and 7 being most attractive.
“It gives me a strange sense of pride. I love the feeling of being totally stretched out.”
Ah, men. We're a simple creature sometimes. And we're never simpler than when we're thinking about size. Generally, one very particular size. There is not man out there who hasn't wondered, at some point, how their penis size measures up. Who hasn't measured their own, then questioned whether they're measuring from the correct point, and tried to steal an extra inch by sliding the ruler further down for those in doubt, you do it from the top, starting where penis meets torso. Well, ideal-penis-size-questioning-men, you need wonder no more. Sound the klaxons, scream it from the mountaintops, gather the villagers from their huts and clink every glass in the cabinet, for we have found the FINAL and official word on the ideal penis size and it is dogma.
After every sexual escapade my friends and I enjoyed in college, we'd ask each other one very big, important question: "Was he packing the heat? It's almost comical to think having a big penis equates to good sex, because, honestly -- and this is something I wish I could scream at my early something self -- that's just total bullshit. Because those are still great. But it does mean how you use it will almost always trump size. And sometimes too big can be, well, a problem. Just ask these nine gals who agreed to share their too-big-penis horror stories. One way big dicks totally suck is for blow jobs.
