Your first time having sex can be a tricky, scary and confusing thing. For starters, people define " sex " in different ways. It can include vaginal, oral, anal sex, and other activities, but today we're focusing on vaginal sex, which refers to penis-in-vagina intercourse. Maybe you've already learned about sex in school, from friends, from parents, or somewhere online, and maybe you're not ready to have sex yet — which is totally normal. Maybe you have a partner you are comfortable with, and you've gone through the steps of deciding that you're ready for sex.
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What's the best position to do it in for the first time?
1. Communicate what you want.
At one point or another, I promise you that everyone has felt the way you do—and your feelings are completely normal, valid, and fair. TL;DR: Everyone has pre-sex jitters no matter how much chill they seem to have, and honestly, you should totally embrace the awkwardness. But just so you can make your first time as pleasurable as possible, here are some tips from sex therapist Vanessa Marin and psychotherapist Nicole Tammelleo. Talking about sex with a new partner is a must.
2. Don’t fake an orgasm.
There are a lot of myths around sexual activity, one being that your first time having sex will hurt. Others may include oral stimulation, fingering or handjobs, or anal penetration in their definition. Your definition could also include stimulation or penetration with a sex toy.
Ah, virginity. We're told that that it should only be with someone special. All of that, I say, is total crap. Teenagers in particular spread a lot of stories about what the first time is like, the most common I think being the aforementioned bleeding and pain. I know that I was terrified of vaginal intercourse before I did it, convinced that it was going to be this painful, traumatic experience. In the end, I barely even noticed when my high school boyfriend finally got it in. But every first time is different, of course, even for the two or, in some special cases, more than two people involved. Even the definition of first time can be different, with some folks counting oral sex or digital penetration as the time they lost their virginity. I was curious to find out what different women experienced for their first time, so I asked around and came back with eight really different answers. Interestingly, though, the only one that reports a fully awesome experience is also the only one who was having girl-on-girl sex.